me on every birthday: maybe today is the day when i find out i'm actually some sort of mythological creature.
theroachsalad: saraunderthesea: ...
spenceralthouse: I swear I wasn’t this gay before I had a tumblr.
mintsmintsmints: captorihardlyknowher: count-vulvula: thedivingboard: russia coming 15 minutes late to the 1917 revolution holding a tsarbucks 15 minutes late they clearly weren’t russian looks like they were stalin you guys are putin way too much time into this
seeking-a-friend: the best part about having a boyfriend is being able to walk up to someone and be like “make out with me” and they’re just like “sure”
warpedesto: do you ever just make a friend and think I am so glad this friend is mine
Spock and Kirk's relationship in a nutshell
Spock: don't do the thing
Kirk: I'M GOING TO DO THE THING
brother-touching-wincest: On Supernatural, we don’t say “I love you,” we say “I can’t do this without you” which roughly translates to “If you die, I’m coming with you” and I think that I’m crying help me.
gayzio: tatterdemalionvulpine: gayzio: In Canada, you don’t say ‘I love you’. You say ‘EH EH MAPLE LEAF QUEEN HAM BACON MOOSE ANTLER EH’ which roughly translates into ‘I’ll give you my snow shovel.’ I think that’s beautiful. “HOCKEY HOCKEY MAPLE LEAF PUCK.” what the fuck did you just say about my mom
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol...
theshelbylife: incestuous-lesbianponies: laurarw: I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG HOLY SHIT
broternia: i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so...
rageroomies: YOU WANNA GO to my room to kiss and stuff??
princesscadenza: unicornlet: princesscadenza: how to drink milk is this the right gif NO IT’S NOT
ixnay-on-the-oddk: lunatrip: lunatrip: sicam: sicam: what do you call a woman with an opinion wrong What do you call a guy that makes sexist jokes Single
do you ever just watch the first episode of your favorite show again and look at how plain and simple everyone is before character development sets in and terrible shit starts happening to everyone
my mum told me to take photos in front of the christmas tree with my little brother merry christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!
castielhasthephoneb0x: i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM
malijuanastyles: I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all
cutandburn: If you compliment I’ll probably think you’re making fun of me so please don’t.
sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY
randomsandfandoms asked: TAG, you’re it! The rules are to state ten random facts about yourself. Then send this to the fifteen nicest people on tumblr.
thats-slightly-raven: thats-slightly-raven: My dad just dropped a bowl of pasta on the floor and it went everywhere, and he stared at it for like 5 minutes, sighed and then said ‘sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’ and then he walked off without cleaning it up. I told my dad a post about him has nearly 40k notes and he told me that he doesn’t understand what...